Preaching to Myself: Marcela and Jean Style

My friend was over last night… we were suppose to be discussing Wayne Grudem's Christian Beliefs: Twenty Basics Every Christian Should Know when we got side tracked about boys and she asked me if I was a Proverbs 31 woman. I knew she was referring to verses 10-31 but little did she know earlier in the day I had read verses 8-9 which states

Open your mouth for the mute,

for the rights of all who are destitute.

Open your mouth, judge righteously, 

defend the rights of the poor and needy 

This led me to go on rambling for a bit and her telling me that she can tell when the convo shifts and I start talking about something I'm passionate about. Yes my heart is breaking because I have prayed for God to let my heart break for what breaks His. I still feel scattered as I think I have mentioned before. I can't even seem to put my thoughts/feelings in logical statements. I have been reading Jennie Allen's Anything: The Prayer that Unlocked My God and My Soul.  I am only on page 88 but all I know is that I can not write an autobiography because I would be committing plagiarism. Everything she says about her life is exactly the way I have felt from when I was young till now. She even describes her experience and emotion after reading Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. Everything  (up until page 88 that is) is spot on, even the way she describes her husband. So if you want to hear what I am thinking said better than I could ever put it, read her book. I am scared to get past page 88 because I know she will challenge me to give up 100% of myself to God. God doesn't compete and He is God so He can bypass me and use someone else. I don't want Him to... offering up my comforts to be used for His Glory (whether he takes them or not) such as a home, my kids, the car, my job, our health, starbucks coffee, camping trips, friends, though they belong to him, it is so hard to say Im okay without them. In fact I am pretty sure I would be a wreck. What does that say about my heart? Those things are my masters? Scary truths. It is especially hard to let go of not planning things or dreaming of what I think (the world has told me) is a "good life"…. strong education for your kids, a retirement fund, a house with cute curtains, etc. I  associate them in my head with stability but none of that stuff is actually stable. I see it every time we visit Columbia Lutheran Home. Those men and women are at the end of their short life here on earth, and on most days, family isn't there, they aren't sitting in that cute house, and a retirement fund is not needed.

Last night I went on to sponsor our second child. We have had Jean from Rwanda for several years now through World Vision. Nicaragua (where I visited in 2006) was back on my heart so I searched for a little girl close to Leighton's age and found 5 year old Marcela through Compassion International. I showed Jean and Marcela to Leighton and we talked about why we were going to sponsor them. I told her it provides the kids with education, medical attention, food, and supplies as well as fun activities. I know the quick response is to say "$38 more dollars a month giving away"…. or "I already give to ___", or "maybe Ill do that next time", or "I already sponsor one kid"… or "I am not wealthy, let someone else help"… or "we don't need to be giving handouts"… But lets be real people. These are children who can't go to school because their family is having them spend the day begging, working or digging for food. Picture them as your children, grandchildren, or nieces/nephews. If you already sponsor a kid, get another! I know I spend at least $4-10 a week on lattes/treats for myself which would provide one child with all their basic needs. You may not buy lattes, but I am sure you can find a way to save $10 a week. I'm challenging everyone reading this to sponsor  a child now. I don't care where you do it from. I personally like the ministries Compassion International has going on. Check out other opportunities they have like their mother/baby program or future leaders.

Seriously though, my kids are worrying about things like refilling the bubble machine

 Setting up the "library", longing for the next time we get to go...

 Or planting carrots to watch them grow for fun not because she is starving..

 Leighton's questions are not will I get to go to school but can Caroline come over to play

 And Sadie doesn't have to worry about not getting medical attention or being taken care of by older brothers and sisters (who may just be 5 or 6 years old) but has two parents who are with her daily

 And clean water is something at 11 months she feels entitled to….

 We are not blessed because we have these luxuries. (See Matthew 5 and Luke 6 for the definition of what being blessed is). We are grateful and thankful for these things (minus the times we take them for granted) but these things never satisfy.