Post-Partum "Plan"

2 week old Levi

Many people ask pregnant ladies what their birth plan is. That can be a little humorous because I don't know how anyone can plan how labor will go. I guess you can make general recommendations such as no epidural or not, but mostly moms are going to do whatever is safest for baby. My "birth plan" when the RN asked me at hospital was to have baby fast and naturally. It was a pretty fast experience (non of which I had control over) and it was pain medication free (my choice). But the "plan" I have been most concerned about is post-baby. What will life with 3 kids look like? How will I feel? Will I have panic attacks? How will the girls react? Will Wes still be able to work? Do we need a bigger space? How will my transition back to work go? 

3 kids = 2 carts 

When it is nice out after a long, dreary rainy season I feel the pressure to be outside, even with a 2-3 week old.... even if it is just for a little bit. I am thankful for the sunshine that brings a smile to my face after sleepless nights. Some of my friends have commented that they are impressed I am away from baby and out doing things. As I probably told some of you that this is part of my postpartum plan. Despite Levi being my third baby I still don't know what I am doing most of the time with an infant. But there are a few things I have learned on the third go-round, mostly pertaining to me. After Leighton was born the "this is my first baby and everything is new" high kept me going through the sleepless nights. After Sadie there is a new stress of loving your first child well while having a newborn. You are trying to balance two kids at different stages and you can't just sleep when the baby sleeps anymore. When I went back to work the stress of being  a good mom, good wife, serving the Lord and performing well at work was too much for me. I did not give myself grace and I did not give the Lord my burdens upfront. But the good news from post-Sadie was the recognition for needing God's truth and an actual desire to seek Him/His Word. 

So before Levi was born I said I was going to make sure I read my bible everyday. Somedays I would rather just watch a Hulu show or sleep but I know if I am not fed by the only sustainable food then I will crash. Secondly I have made it a priority to leave the baby at some point during the day. Somedays it has been only leaving the house for about 30 min and other days I have actually been gone the entire 2-3 hours between a feeding. I did neither of these things after Leighton or Sadie. Sadie and I were attached at the hip. It was sweet but taxing. I have encouraged Levi greatly to love the pacifier too. These are two things that don't take up that much time during a 24 hour period but it does require making them a priority. I couldn't do it either without the support of Wes as he encourages me to go and makes it possible. 

But don't think these two things alone make it all smiles and peachy postpartum. Daily I lose my patience with girls and have to stop and pray. In the middle of the night when I am dead tired nursing, I am praying nonstop for endurance, patience, strength, sleep and health (for Levi who has had a cold for over 2 weeks and for us to be able to take care of the little people). I have asked friends or family to pray when I feel the anxiety and emotions trying to control my thoughts. I love this quote by author Jon Bloom "Emotions are gauges, not guides. They are indicatives not imperatives. They are to be directed  not to be directors." I know that mediating on truth will bring freedom and freedom will bring joy. Constantly praying to fear the Lord as then we need not fear anything else. 1 John 4:18 Thanks to all for praying for our transition, my mind, and Levi's health! As the IJM president, Gary Haugen, said "By inventing the phenomenon of human prayer, God has decided to allow our asking to make a difference in the events of the world." 

Napping is loosely part of my plan. I hope for it once a day when Sadie naps but keeping my expectations low  is important. My next step when we get more in a rhythm is going to be to incorporate some exercise into the routine.... hold me accountable okay? In the meantime...

We didn't just have sunshine this past week but we also had unusually hot weather. I thought it was nice because I like the warm weather when there is no humidity. But I did hear rumbles from people who are scared this indicates a hot summer to come.  "Records were broken Monday, with the National Weather Service reporting temperatures that reached 89 degrees, making it the warmest April day in Seattle history since records began in 1894." We have gotten out to walk around neighborhood, pick up books from library, eat ice cream, and even stop and read the books on the way! Maternity leave enables me to not have as many time restrictions on the day which is nice. Maternity leave also means we have a lot of time as a family together. That is great of course... I just know that I have to guard against dependency on being around Wes and not avoid driving places alone for fear of panic attacks. 

 On Monday when it was so hot we drove up to Edmonds, WA (15 miles north of our house) to check out their waterfront area as we all had to get out of house for the handy-man to do some work. It was very pretty. The Edmonds-Kingston Ferry terminal is in a picturesque spot in front of the Olympic Mountains as well as view north of Mt Baker. Sadie was fascinated by the scuba divers and she was sure they were going to catch Nemo.

Another day I was able to take just the girls to Golden Gardens to play in the sand with their friends. I enjoyed seeing their moms too. I miss adult conversations somedays. 

And when we couldn't leave the house we enjoyed the sunshine in the courtyard! 

And a lot of days I have grand plans for my "leaving the baby" and reading my bible to be combined at Cafe Ladro with the girls. If I have Leighton alone it usually goes well. 

If I have Sadie then it usually just means no quiet time. 

They are into what I call "kid lattes" or vanilla milk steamers 

And if I am desperate to use the time for quiet time then Sadie gets to play her game on the iPad. Don't judge she is doing math :)

And a lot of the day the girls have learned to play together more. Here they are playing Candyland. I did have to intervene as Sadie was cheating and eventually play with them after I put Levi down. 

The love giving little brother kisses. And they thought it was awesome he could fit on their baby bed. 

 Leighton is still making thoughtful crafts. She made these at school. One is for Sadie telling her she loves her and God loves her. The other craft they had to make at school is the cat picture. As you may note the cat's nose is upside down. It is not like Leighton to make a picture incorrect/not following directions so Mom asked her why her cats nose is upside down. She told us she knew they would put them up on the wall and she wanted to be able to pick out which cat was her's. This is something for teachers and parents to chew on...

 Lastly the girls love Levi strong hence it is impossible to keep their germs off him despite many "no touch" rules and hand washing. Once they get a cold, Levi and I get their colds. Third child problem. I think we are going through our second round now :(

Sadie resuming her old position to be close to us just like when Levi was in my belly. 

 Levi did have a good 2 week doctor appointment. He gained weight and we discovered a strawberry birthmark popped up on his side sometime after first week of life. I love this little dude!