You've seen the pictures of our life in Cleveland. You've seen holiday celebrations with family. You've seen a glimpse into our life through social media or the blog in picture form. But how are we doing in Cleveland? How is life post-Seattle? Post -move? Spiritually....mentally... physically?
Physically is the easiest to explain.... for the first 6 month we probably didn't eat the healthiest. There are healthy choices in Cleveland such as a Whole Foods but there is also a lot of unhealthy new restaurants to try. They have plenty of yummy, hearty food options here! Also not being in Seattle (with the in your face, non GMO, gluten free, grow your own veggies/fruit and chickens environment), we have relaxed a little on healthy choices. Post-holiday sweets and savory indulgence we are trying to cook healthy meals at home now.
Mentally, for me, there has been some expected and unexpected challenges. I am thankful to have weaned to half of my anxiety medicine I was taking post-Levi's brain bleed. I am praising God for no panic attacks and continually thankful for His grace in the freedom He has allowed me since the move. What I didn't expect is the mental drain that has been my new job. I am enjoying the work of medication safety but it has definitely been a learning experience. I fight mentally bringing home work, replaying conversations, and decisions I make. It is also easy to think back to my time at Seattle Children's and desire to be in that familiar place where I knew people and was known.
Spiritually, (I won't speak for Wes) I would define the last 6 months with the word IDENTITY. There have been moments, days or even weeks of feeling lost in Cleveland or purposeless. We moved a few times since college, from Lexington to Louisville and then Louisville to Birmingham. Each of those places we were moving for school or training and only stayed a year. When we decided to move to Seattle, the intent and drive behind it was to help with the Hallows Church Plant in Fremont. That is where our move identity rooted. Yes while we were in Seattle we were sanctified, discipled, faced trials, and more, but our identity in Christ was only further fostered.
Now we headed out of Seattle due to the cost of living, moved to a new place we had only visited once for an interview. We tell ourselves our identity is in Christ and that it will not be shaken no matter what city or country we live in. But quickly when my job had unexpected challenges or summer fades into cold and the newness of exploring wears off.... you look around and think "why am I here?" It takes time to make friends, build community, and it even took some time to find a church home. We did and are getting involved but it is just a different start than when we moved to Seattle. Again our initial community was driven by a bond to spread the gospel in Fremont and throughout Seattle. That is why I say identity is the word. Our identity in Christ didn't change from city to city. It is just from the worldly eyes of a sinner like myself I get lost in thinking my purpose has changed. It has always been and will always be to make disciples of Christ. But when the job you moved for has had discouragement and you feel the sadness of missing close friends and history and the familiar pacific northwest landscape... I can spiral into thinking we made a mistake. What are we doing here? We moved for logistical reasons of a home and job.... not to join a church plant. But ironically enough, our new pastor's wife, Aimee, said whenever I have these misplaced thoughts, just picture her face. What she means is she has been praying for people with kids to come into their new church that is just a year old and serve alongside them. And it is not just her but a reminder that people, people created in God's image, are everywhere and they are our purpose. Not my identity as Pediatric Medication Safety Pharmacist at Cleveland Clinic. Not my identity as a member of a certain church. Not my identity ultimately as a mom, wife, or daughter. All of these titles can be stripped away. All these titles have changed over time. But my identity as a child of God with a purpose to know Him and make Him known is never ending and forever unchanged. So the struggle has been real. Moving to a new environment exposes new hardships, new graces, and brings to light hidden sin. But God's hand is never not involved and He is never not gone before us in any new move, adventure, or struggle.
May we all rest in being adopted children of God and make disciples in whatever city, job, circumstance we are placed.
With love,
Casey
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