Co-worker and Mom

On Monday I was sitting at a co-worker’s house for a our study session on the book of Romans. For a , when they were all discussing something, I kind of spaced out and just looked around the room in awe of what God had orchestrated. There sat 7 ladies from different ethnicities (some born in American while others were born in China or India), different religious backgrounds (Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, etc), different life stages (ages 30-50), and some who have studied the bible a lot to some this being their 2^nd bible study. (Their first being this summer when we studied 1 John.) Yes it has been time consuming prepping for our discussion by studying 2 chapters of Romans a week but at the same time it has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I have been nervous because I don’t completely understand the text or have all the answers.  I have learned new things as I have had to dig deep into the text to prepare. I have questioned what I said after we had discussions about topics like homosexuality, predestination/election, the people who have never heard, who is Israel, Old Testament law, and all the other deep theological tension topics Paul brings out in Romans. I am not saying this to say look what I did by leading  bible study. I am telling you this because I am in awe of how God has encouraged me through it. I stated before that I didn’t think there was a Christian community of woman at my work but little did I know there is. There are ladies now I have been vulnerable with and shared struggles. I find comfort in knowing they would pray with me at work. I feel encouraged that as a group we pray for our other co-workers and the entire hospital to know Christ. I am thankful for the platform to get to opening share the Gospel every week. There are some ladies who have come sporadically or never but still received my recap emails that clearly shout grace, the Cross and Paul’s teachings. I don’t even think it is one of my spiritual gifts is teaching so that could be a problem. But what I do know is that just stepping out and asking others to join you in your daily walk with Christ is life changing. Yes I have done it with other believers from my church community. Those times are so precious and encouraging as well. I cherish those too. But I did put off asking co-workers, not knowing where they all stand (still don’t completely!) because of the fear of man.

 

All of those emotions on Monday got me thinking about how over the years I have struggled trying to figure out what Titus 2:4-5 meant and what it feels like to be a mom who also works out side the house. I have listened to different scholars on the topic and had many discussions with Wes. As you know we have an untraditional employment set up in our house. I don’t know what it feels like to be a full time mom who works in the home. I do know that Mondays and other days I have the kids is rewarding and challenging. I definitely have to pray for patience. I know that when I am at work I always miss the girls. I know that God is concerned with heart change.  Are we ultimately being living sacrifices for Him daily? I know God doesn’t like idols. He doesn’t want the wife or the husband to put career/success/money/time over Him, the other spouse or the kids.  I know that God wants the mother to disciple her kids according to His ways. I know that God does want the wife to support her husband. In our situation there is no way Wes could do what he does with Hallows and us live in Seattle if God had not given me a job at Seattle Childrens. I know that culture has changed and that many woman/moms in the bible worked but the work took place at home (gardening, making items to sell, etc). It wasn’t even until the industrial revolution that jobs really existed for woman outside of the home. I know that it has been hard sometimes to be a Christian working mom, maybe its my own insecurity, in church community where majority if not all of the moms stay at home full time. I know that it has been hurtful to hear other woman say “for our family we agree it is best for me to be at home with the kids based on our biblical belief”. I do think the world would be a scary place if the only people in the workforce (policeman, teachers, counselors, nannies, baristas, doctors, lawyers, etc) were Christian men and Non-believing woman and men.  I do also know that many stay at home Christian moms who believe that the woman should definitely stay at home would also they wont just teach their daughters homemaking, cooking, and mothering but also prepare them for college. That doesn’t make sense does it? Pay for college only to get a degree in a career that you will never use or if you do it is for < 5 years. That would not be financially wise.

 

I just ask that if you are a full time stay at home Christian mom that you show grace to the Christians moms that work outside of the home. They could be working outside the home for various reasons… reasons that put their husbands ministry or job first, reason that help their family, or because they have to. If there heart is seeking career/success/money over God, husband or kids then it is something to call out and help them through. Just know it is probably a struggle for them as if they truly love God and desire to disciple their kids but are working too.. They are having to find quality time because they don’t have the quantity time.

 

If you are a Christian mom who works in the home and outside the home then I ask you give yourself a little grace. Pray through the enemies lies that you are not a good mom. Study the bible and see for yourself what God desires. Guard yourself from jealously of the moms who get to say at home full time. Guard yourself from seeking success or putting your career over your husband and kids. Use the time and people God has surrounded you with to advance His gospel. You can not go wrong if you are making disciples of your kids and others.

 

Thanks for letting me share my troubled mind. I am still sorting through these thoughts and wisdom is always welcomed. Wes and I’s situation could change tomorrow. I could forever be a mom who works in the home from tomorrow forward. A little bit of that sounds exciting but also scary as it is the unknown and I enjoy making relationships with co-workers.  I don’t know what the future holds but I am open to whatever. I pray that I will always be willing to serve wherever the Lord places us.  Either way, whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, we have been given people around us and in our communities to engage for the advancement of the gospel. There is no better study then to start with believers or non-believers than picking a book of the bible. Our group has been applying these 5 questions to the book of Romans. It is a great tool to help mature believers or unbelievers know how to study the bible. I highly recommend it as it keeps you focused on the Word and does not let people’s own interpretation/the way they feel get in the way.

 

1.       What does this passage say about God, His character and purposes?

2.       What does this passage say about our natural fallen human condition?

3.       What does this passage reveal about the Gospel?

4.       What does this passage say about our identity in Christ as believers/disciples?

5.       In light of this passage how should we respond to God/obey Him and how we should interact with others (enemies, neighbors, family, friends, etc)?

 

If you want to study Romans specifically these two commentaries have been so useful and user friendly to me. Tim Keller’s two books have good commentary at the back. (Romans 1-7: The Gift of God, Good Book Guides Bible Studies; Romans 8-16: In View of God's Mercy, Good Book Guides Bible Studies) and Read Mark Learn: Romans: A Small Group Bible Study by St. Helen's Bishopsgate.